網(wǎng)絡(luò)相親靠不靠譜?過來人來告訴你

Despite its popularity, not everyone's experience with online dating is positive. Plenty of women are opting out of the "efficiency" of the inline dating world, instead choosing to find a date the old-fashioned way.

雖然網(wǎng)上相親很火，但并非所有女性的經(jīng)歷都那么美好。許多女性退出了這“高效的”網(wǎng)絡(luò)相親世界，而選擇了傳統(tǒng)的方式擇偶。

So what exactly is driving these daters to delete their profiles? We asked the members of our Facebookcommunity why they left online dating to find love IRL. Here's what they had to say:

所以到底是什么讓這些女性刪除了賬號信息呢?我們找到了臉書社區(qū)的成員們，詢問她們?yōu)槭裁捶艞壘W(wǎng)絡(luò)相親，而要找個現(xiàn)實(shí)生活的伴侶。她們是這么說的：

1. "Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile."

1、“漸漸地，我開始覺得我在追求虛擬賬戶上的完美女孩中迷失了自我。”

"I was constantly overthinking what I had typed in my profile or what I was sending in a message to a guy. I would type, delete, type again, delete, etc., like I didn't know who I was in real life."

“我常常會去糾結(jié)我在個人資料中寫下的信息或是我發(fā)給別的男生的消息。我會打一遍，刪掉，再打一遍，好像我不知道自己在現(xiàn)實(shí)中是什么樣子一樣。”

2. "There was no spontaneity or fun or butterflies."

2、“沒有隨性、樂趣和興奮感。”

"I was sick of constant disappointment or men that wanted to text forever. Or men that were so self-focused. Everything was scheduled and planned forever."

“我受夠了對男人們的無盡失望。他們總是想要無休止地發(fā)信息，或是太過于自我中心。一切都被永遠(yuǎn)地安排好了。”

3. ?"Everything feels forced."

3、“一切都太刻意。”

"It's like you try to put a face to the person you're talking to, but it just feels like this contrived entity. You really have no idea who they are and what they're about or if you have any chemistry."

“就好像你試著去面對和你對話的人，但感覺像是陷入了套路中。你真的不明白他們究竟是誰、想要做什么，也不知道是不是真的對他們有感覺。”

4. "It required a lot more time and energy than I expected."

4、“比想象中的更耗時間和精力。”

"What I did not like was that it felt extremely contrived, as if I was online shopping. I recommend online dating for practice if you haven't dated in a while, but ultimately, I think the chances of meeting someone great are small and require a whole lot of effort."

“我不喜歡網(wǎng)戀的一點(diǎn)就是它太刻意了，就像在網(wǎng)購那樣。我建議如果你很久沒有約會了，那么可以把它當(dāng)做一種練習(xí)，但我認(rèn)為最終遇到優(yōu)質(zhì)對象的幾率很小，還需要很大的努力。”

5. "I got a stalker."

5、“我被跟蹤了。”

"My warning to women: If you have a unique name, do not post your first name or even your last initial on your profile ANYWHERE. My stalker situation wasn't as extreme as some, but it irked me enough to get a lawyer which I'm glad I did."

“我對女同胞們的提醒：如果你有一個特別的名字，不要把你的名字甚至是縮寫寫到資料里的任何地方。我的情況還不算很嚴(yán)重，但還是把我激怒到找律師了。很慶幸我找了。”

6. "I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut."

6、“我曾因?yàn)榧舳贪l(fā)而被問是男是女。”

"I gave up on online dating, because I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut. I replied with, 'If you can't tell the difference between a man and woman, there is no hope for you and you should probably delete your profile.' I then received the response, 'I'm just saying...there are some he-she’s on here and you gotta be careful.'"

“我放棄網(wǎng)戀是因?yàn)槲以驗(yàn)榧舳贪l(fā)而被問是男是女。我回答：‘如果你連是男是女都分不出來，你是沒有希望的，還是刪了賬號吧。’他回答：‘我只是說……這里是真的有人妖的，得小心些。’”

7. "Every time I suggested getting together, he seemed to stop messaging me or avoid the question."

7、“每次我建議我們在一起，他好像就不再給我發(fā)信息了，或者逃避問題。”

"I had been messaging with a very attractive man who said he was a firefighter, which is my weakness. We spoke for a while, but something did not feel right as I was talking to him. I got the idea to try and figure out how to reverse image through Google, dropped his picture in and bam — the pictures were linked to an Instagram account in England of a semi-famous personal trainer."

“我和一個很帥的自稱是消防員的男性聊了一陣，是我的菜，但后來我再和他聊時，感覺就有些不對了。我想到了一個主意，我想到了用谷歌根據(jù)照片搜索信息，然后放上去搜索——果然照片鏈接到了Instagram上的一個英國賬號。主人是一個小有名氣的私人健身教練。”

8. "Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger."

8、“大多數(shù)和我同齡的男性都想找年輕得多的女性。”

"I'm 47 and I have a 5-year-old, so I'm not your average middle-aged woman. Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger, or if they are my age, they want someone who doesn't have young kids."

“我47歲了，有個5歲的孩子，所以我不是普通的中年女性。大多數(shù)和我同齡的男性都想找年輕得多的女性，或者如果和我年齡差不多的，他們不想找有小孩子的。”

Despite its popularity, not everyone's experience with online dating is positive. Plenty of women are opting out of the "efficiency" of the inline dating world, instead choosing to find a date the old-fashioned way.

雖然網(wǎng)上相親很火，但并非所有女性的經(jīng)歷都那么美好。許多女性退出了這“高效的”網(wǎng)絡(luò)相親世界，而選擇了傳統(tǒng)的方式擇偶。

So what exactly is driving these daters to delete their profiles? We asked the members of our Facebookcommunity why they left online dating to find love IRL. Here's what they had to say:

所以到底是什么讓這些女性刪除了賬號信息呢?我們找到了臉書社區(qū)的成員們，詢問她們?yōu)槭裁捶艞壘W(wǎng)絡(luò)相親，而要找個現(xiàn)實(shí)生活的伴侶。她們是這么說的：

1. "Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile."

1、“漸漸地，我開始覺得我在追求虛擬賬戶上的完美女孩中迷失了自我。”

"I was constantly overthinking what I had typed in my profile or what I was sending in a message to a guy. I would type, delete, type again, delete, etc., like I didn't know who I was in real life."

“我常常會去糾結(jié)我在個人資料中寫下的信息或是我發(fā)給別的男生的消息。我會打一遍，刪掉，再打一遍，好像我不知道自己在現(xiàn)實(shí)中是什么樣子一樣。”

2. "There was no spontaneity or fun or butterflies."

2、“沒有隨性、樂趣和興奮感。”

"I was sick of constant disappointment or men that wanted to text forever. Or men that were so self-focused. Everything was scheduled and planned forever."

“我受夠了對男人們的無盡失望。他們總是想要無休止地發(fā)信息，或是太過于自我中心。一切都被永遠(yuǎn)地安排好了。”

3. ?"Everything feels forced."

3、“一切都太刻意。”

"It's like you try to put a face to the person you're talking to, but it just feels like this contrived entity. You really have no idea who they are and what they're about or if you have any chemistry."

“就好像你試著去面對和你對話的人，但感覺像是陷入了套路中。你真的不明白他們究竟是誰、想要做什么，也不知道是不是真的對他們有感覺。”

4. "It required a lot more time and energy than I expected."

4、“比想象中的更耗時間和精力。”

"What I did not like was that it felt extremely contrived, as if I was online shopping. I recommend online dating for practice if you haven't dated in a while, but ultimately, I think the chances of meeting someone great are small and require a whole lot of effort."

“我不喜歡網(wǎng)戀的一點(diǎn)就是它太刻意了，就像在網(wǎng)購那樣。我建議如果你很久沒有約會了，那么可以把它當(dāng)做一種練習(xí)，但我認(rèn)為最終遇到優(yōu)質(zhì)對象的幾率很小，還需要很大的努力。”

5. "I got a stalker."

5、“我被跟蹤了。”

"My warning to women: If you have a unique name, do not post your first name or even your last initial on your profile ANYWHERE. My stalker situation wasn't as extreme as some, but it irked me enough to get a lawyer which I'm glad I did."

“我對女同胞們的提醒：如果你有一個特別的名字，不要把你的名字甚至是縮寫寫到資料里的任何地方。我的情況還不算很嚴(yán)重，但還是把我激怒到找律師了。很慶幸我找了。”

6. "I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut."

6、“我曾因?yàn)榧舳贪l(fā)而被問是男是女。”

"I gave up on online dating, because I was once asked if I was a man or a woman due to a short hair cut. I replied with, 'If you can't tell the difference between a man and woman, there is no hope for you and you should probably delete your profile.' I then received the response, 'I'm just saying...there are some he-she’s on here and you gotta be careful.'"

“我放棄網(wǎng)戀是因?yàn)槲以驗(yàn)榧舳贪l(fā)而被問是男是女。我回答：‘如果你連是男是女都分不出來，你是沒有希望的，還是刪了賬號吧。’他回答：‘我只是說……這里是真的有人妖的，得小心些。’”

7. "Every time I suggested getting together, he seemed to stop messaging me or avoid the question."

7、“每次我建議我們在一起，他好像就不再給我發(fā)信息了，或者逃避問題。”

"I had been messaging with a very attractive man who said he was a firefighter, which is my weakness. We spoke for a while, but something did not feel right as I was talking to him. I got the idea to try and figure out how to reverse image through Google, dropped his picture in and bam — the pictures were linked to an Instagram account in England of a semi-famous personal trainer."

“我和一個很帥的自稱是消防員的男性聊了一陣，是我的菜，但后來我再和他聊時，感覺就有些不對了。我想到了一個主意，我想到了用谷歌根據(jù)照片搜索信息，然后放上去搜索——果然照片鏈接到了Instagram上的一個英國賬號。主人是一個小有名氣的私人健身教練。”

8. "Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger."

8、“大多數(shù)和我同齡的男性都想找年輕得多的女性。”

"I'm 47 and I have a 5-year-old, so I'm not your average middle-aged woman. Most men my age are looking for women that are much younger, or if they are my age, they want someone who doesn't have young kids."

“我47歲了，有個5歲的孩子，所以我不是普通的中年女性。大多數(shù)和我同齡的男性都想找年輕得多的女性，或者如果和我年齡差不多的，他們不想找有小孩子的。”