六級(jí)倒計(jì)時(shí)沖刺寫(xiě)作實(shí)例講解：參加社團(tuán)

　　下面是2024年六級(jí)倒計(jì)時(shí)沖刺寫(xiě)作實(shí)例講解：參加社團(tuán)，供考生參考。

　　Directions：For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write an announcement to welcome students to join a club. You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below in Chinese:

　　1. 本社團(tuán)的主要活動(dòng)內(nèi)容 2. 參加本社團(tuán)的好處 3. 如何加入本社團(tuán)

　　讀者原文：

　　Welcome to our club

　　Do you feel worn out? Do you want to relax yourself? Do you want to enrich your life? Now, you can make a wise choice to join up our Fun Club.

　　There are many kinds of activities in our club, including entertainment and study. We will hold a party on every Friday evening, during the time you can sing and dance to music. Besides, you can go for a picnic every weekend. As for study, we provide many books related your major courses. And we set up a new English corner, where you can improve your spoken English. If you join up our club, there are many advantages waiting for you. First, you can practice yourself and build up your social ability. Second, you can make more new friends. Most of all, you can balance between work and study.

　　There are several ways we can join up Fun Club. You can directly go to Room 300. You can also call the number 9542xxxx. Besides, you can send an e-mail tomail@funclub.com. Dont hesitate to take action at once.

　　修改后的文章：

　　Welcome to our club

　　Do you feel worn out? Do you want to relax? Do you want to enrich your life? Why not join our club?

　　Our club is named Fun Club because we organize many interesting activities that can involve both entertainment and study. We hold a party on every Friday evening, at which you can sing and dance to music. Besides, we have a picnic every weekend. As for study, we provide many books related to your major courses and offer chances for you to compare notes on your studies. And we plan to set up a new English corner, where you can improve your spoken English. So, if you join our club, youll have many benefits. First, you can get lots of practice and build up your social skills. Second, you can make many new friends. Most of all, you can achieve a balance between study and entertainment.

　　There are several ways you can join our Fun Club. You can go directly to Room 300 to apply. You can also call us at 9542xxxx. Or you can send an application to us atmail@funclub.com. Dont hesitate. Itll be great fun!

　　點(diǎn)評(píng)：

　　這篇作文基本上達(dá)到了寫(xiě)作要求，能以簡(jiǎn)單的書(shū)面英語(yǔ)傳達(dá)自己的意思，語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤不多。該生對(duì)英語(yǔ)句子結(jié)構(gòu)的掌握比較好，但是對(duì)英語(yǔ)的習(xí)慣搭配卻不太注意，語(yǔ)感不是很好。下面是幾點(diǎn)具體的修改建議。

　　1. 第一段第二句Do you want to relax yourself中的yourself是多余的。動(dòng)詞relax既可作及物動(dòng)詞用，也可以作不及物動(dòng)詞 用，例如：

　　Just sit back and relax, and enjoy the music.

　　She realized how tense she was and forced herself to relax.

　　What Robin needed was a good drink to relax herself.

　　很多學(xué)生喜歡在relax之后接myself/yourself, 但在英語(yǔ)中relax之后接反身代詞的情況極為少見(jiàn)。常接的賓語(yǔ)是muscle, hold/grip, rules/controls/regulations, vigilance/concentration一類(lèi)詞。同樣，第一段第四句to join up our Fun Club以及后面兩段中的up也是多余的。加入某個(gè)團(tuán)體或組織，用join即可，例如：

　　During the war, he joined the air force and became a pilot.

　　Join up常作參軍解，但是不及物，后面不跟賓語(yǔ)，例如：

　　He joined up right after leaving school.

　　Join up作及物動(dòng)詞時(shí)，意為連接 ，例如：

　　You need to join up these two lines.

　　2. 第一段第四句中的you can make a wise choice不如改為you can make a wise decision 。 make a choice是在幾個(gè)東西中挑一個(gè)，作一個(gè)選擇，可這里沒(méi)有提到別的選擇，用choice就不合適了。

　　3. 第二段第二句的during the time you can sing and dance to music, 應(yīng)該改為at which you can sing and dance to music ，或者干脆將這一句拆分為兩句。英語(yǔ)中，主從復(fù)合句必須有連接詞連接主句和從句，如果沒(méi)有連接詞，則各個(gè)子句是獨(dú)立的，應(yīng)該用句號(hào)分開(kāi)。

　　4. 第二段第四句的we provide many books related your major courses應(yīng)改為we provide many books related to your major courses。動(dòng)詞relate的搭配應(yīng)為relate sth. to sth., 例如：

　　Most writing systems relate letters to sounds fairly closely.

　　Is Conni related to him?

　　Fox writes about how culture is related to art.

　　5. 第二段第七句中的you can practice yourself建議改為you can get lots of practice。 practice yourself這種說(shuō)法在英語(yǔ)中見(jiàn)不到。

　　6. 第二段第八句中的you can make more new friends建議改為you can make many new friends 。這里沒(méi)有明確的比較，還是不用比較級(jí)為好。

　　7. 第二段最后一句中的you can balance between work and study應(yīng)改為you can balance study and entertainment或者you can balance study with entertainment, 也可以改為you can achieve a balance between study and entertainment。在兩者之間取得平衡，用Balance A and/with B這個(gè)表達(dá)形式，或者用achieve/strike/keep/maintain a balance between A and B。另外，從內(nèi)容方面看，俱樂(lè)部的活動(dòng)內(nèi)容是學(xué)習(xí)和娛樂(lè)，通篇沒(méi)有提到工作，所以，在這里突然講起工作和學(xué)習(xí)的平衡，有一點(diǎn)前后不連貫，改成between study and entertainment ，就要好得多。

　　學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)最重要的是多讀、多寫(xiě)，同時(shí)要觀察英美人如何表達(dá)思想，如何搭配使用詞語(yǔ)，體會(huì)每一個(gè)詞的確切含義。讀得多了，并用心去體會(huì)，慢慢就會(huì)找到感覺(jué)。

　　下面是2024年六級(jí)倒計(jì)時(shí)沖刺寫(xiě)作實(shí)例講解：參加社團(tuán)，供考生參考。

　　Directions：For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write an announcement to welcome students to join a club. You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below in Chinese:

　　1. 本社團(tuán)的主要活動(dòng)內(nèi)容 2. 參加本社團(tuán)的好處 3. 如何加入本社團(tuán)

　　讀者原文：

　　Welcome to our club

　　Do you feel worn out? Do you want to relax yourself? Do you want to enrich your life? Now, you can make a wise choice to join up our Fun Club.

　　There are many kinds of activities in our club, including entertainment and study. We will hold a party on every Friday evening, during the time you can sing and dance to music. Besides, you can go for a picnic every weekend. As for study, we provide many books related your major courses. And we set up a new English corner, where you can improve your spoken English. If you join up our club, there are many advantages waiting for you. First, you can practice yourself and build up your social ability. Second, you can make more new friends. Most of all, you can balance between work and study.

　　There are several ways we can join up Fun Club. You can directly go to Room 300. You can also call the number 9542xxxx. Besides, you can send an e-mail tomail@funclub.com. Dont hesitate to take action at once.

　　修改后的文章：

　　Welcome to our club

　　Do you feel worn out? Do you want to relax? Do you want to enrich your life? Why not join our club?

　　Our club is named Fun Club because we organize many interesting activities that can involve both entertainment and study. We hold a party on every Friday evening, at which you can sing and dance to music. Besides, we have a picnic every weekend. As for study, we provide many books related to your major courses and offer chances for you to compare notes on your studies. And we plan to set up a new English corner, where you can improve your spoken English. So, if you join our club, youll have many benefits. First, you can get lots of practice and build up your social skills. Second, you can make many new friends. Most of all, you can achieve a balance between study and entertainment.

　　There are several ways you can join our Fun Club. You can go directly to Room 300 to apply. You can also call us at 9542xxxx. Or you can send an application to us atmail@funclub.com. Dont hesitate. Itll be great fun!

　　點(diǎn)評(píng)：

　　這篇作文基本上達(dá)到了寫(xiě)作要求，能以簡(jiǎn)單的書(shū)面英語(yǔ)傳達(dá)自己的意思，語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤不多。該生對(duì)英語(yǔ)句子結(jié)構(gòu)的掌握比較好，但是對(duì)英語(yǔ)的習(xí)慣搭配卻不太注意，語(yǔ)感不是很好。下面是幾點(diǎn)具體的修改建議。

　　1. 第一段第二句Do you want to relax yourself中的yourself是多余的。動(dòng)詞relax既可作及物動(dòng)詞用，也可以作不及物動(dòng)詞 用，例如：

　　Just sit back and relax, and enjoy the music.

　　She realized how tense she was and forced herself to relax.

　　What Robin needed was a good drink to relax herself.

　　很多學(xué)生喜歡在relax之后接myself/yourself, 但在英語(yǔ)中relax之后接反身代詞的情況極為少見(jiàn)。常接的賓語(yǔ)是muscle, hold/grip, rules/controls/regulations, vigilance/concentration一類(lèi)詞。同樣，第一段第四句to join up our Fun Club以及后面兩段中的up也是多余的。加入某個(gè)團(tuán)體或組織，用join即可，例如：

　　During the war, he joined the air force and became a pilot.

　　Join up常作參軍解，但是不及物，后面不跟賓語(yǔ)，例如：

　　He joined up right after leaving school.

　　Join up作及物動(dòng)詞時(shí)，意為連接 ，例如：

　　You need to join up these two lines.

　　2. 第一段第四句中的you can make a wise choice不如改為you can make a wise decision 。 make a choice是在幾個(gè)東西中挑一個(gè)，作一個(gè)選擇，可這里沒(méi)有提到別的選擇，用choice就不合適了。

　　3. 第二段第二句的during the time you can sing and dance to music, 應(yīng)該改為at which you can sing and dance to music ，或者干脆將這一句拆分為兩句。英語(yǔ)中，主從復(fù)合句必須有連接詞連接主句和從句，如果沒(méi)有連接詞，則各個(gè)子句是獨(dú)立的，應(yīng)該用句號(hào)分開(kāi)。

　　4. 第二段第四句的we provide many books related your major courses應(yīng)改為we provide many books related to your major courses。動(dòng)詞relate的搭配應(yīng)為relate sth. to sth., 例如：

　　Most writing systems relate letters to sounds fairly closely.

　　Is Conni related to him?

　　Fox writes about how culture is related to art.

　　5. 第二段第七句中的you can practice yourself建議改為you can get lots of practice。 practice yourself這種說(shuō)法在英語(yǔ)中見(jiàn)不到。

　　6. 第二段第八句中的you can make more new friends建議改為you can make many new friends 。這里沒(méi)有明確的比較，還是不用比較級(jí)為好。

　　7. 第二段最后一句中的you can balance between work and study應(yīng)改為you can balance study and entertainment或者you can balance study with entertainment, 也可以改為you can achieve a balance between study and entertainment。在兩者之間取得平衡，用Balance A and/with B這個(gè)表達(dá)形式，或者用achieve/strike/keep/maintain a balance between A and B。另外，從內(nèi)容方面看，俱樂(lè)部的活動(dòng)內(nèi)容是學(xué)習(xí)和娛樂(lè)，通篇沒(méi)有提到工作，所以，在這里突然講起工作和學(xué)習(xí)的平衡，有一點(diǎn)前后不連貫，改成between study and entertainment ，就要好得多。

　　學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)最重要的是多讀、多寫(xiě)，同時(shí)要觀察英美人如何表達(dá)思想，如何搭配使用詞語(yǔ)，體會(huì)每一個(gè)詞的確切含義。讀得多了，并用心去體會(huì)，慢慢就會(huì)找到感覺(jué)。